The Weekly News Round Up

Well not so much of a weekly round up, or even a fortnightly one. More a case of random ramblings of things that have made me chuckle since I last posted.

First up - those two old biddies who tried to wheel a dead father through Check In to (allegedly, I might add), avoid the £2000 fee for shipping the stiff back to the country of origin. I say fair play to them. Can't blame 'em for trying. If only they had elected to fly RyanAir instead of Easyjet. At RyanAir check-in they probably expect a reasonable proportion of their cattlelike clientel to have passed over to the other side after giving up hope for their long delayed plane to have arrived. As such they would not have batted an eyelid as they hoisted him on to the plane. Mind you, they would probably have charged him a pound for "leakage".

Second up - I see there is a big diplomatic row brewing as the Pope shortly starts his visit to Malta. Apparently all because of some huge statue of a cock which is erected (pardon the pun) somewhere along his route of travel. Well, excuse me for pointing out the obvious, but I would have thought someone of the Catholic priest persuasion is, statistically, a lot more likely to have come across (again, pardon the pun) more dicks than the average passerby. Although, given similar age demongraphic statistics, I suppose its rare that he has come across one so well developed before. now, if it was a vagina, then that would be a different matter. I want to say, in my defence, that I'm only laboring this point on account of that silly fucker Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone who claimed that there was no link between peadophilia and celibacy, whereas there is apparently a strong like between homosexuality and peadophilia. Well, clearly, in the case of the former there isn't. Because if you are celibate, by definition, it means that you don't have sex full stop. As for the latter, if it suggests anything, it suggests that men forced to repress sexual urges are more likely to have sex with anything than if they were able to express their sexual side in the way that God intended. In fact, the Catholic Church's own research has found that when priests do have sex, 60% of them do it with boys. Although, on the upside, the same research found out that in only 10% of cases was this found to be sex with boys in the strictest sense. The rest was just with teenagers. So, that's alright then. Stupid, denying wanker. Anyway, it seems to me that having admitted that priests are sleeping with teenagers at the very least, it suggests that EITHER they are doing it because they are celibate OR because they are closet cases. Either way he's a cunt. As a gay man I don't know of a single gay man who is or has been involved in anything approaching the behaviour demonstrated by so many priests. I wonder if he can say the same?

In slightly related news today I see The Sun had a headline stating "Peado Heaven On Our High Street" - which does not sound like a business with a long term future - especially when even Starbucks and MacDonalds are struggling to cling on in many locations. On the other hand, maybe there are a lot of Catholic Priests in the area. Actually it turns out that its about Primark selling padded swimtops to seven year old girls. Well, firstly, most seven year old girls don't have the money. And those that do have more taste. These swimtops were bought by their parents FOR their seven year old children, which says more about the parents than it does about the store that sold them. In any case, most children are so fat at seven these days, they don't need to pad their swimsuits in the first place. Where is the outcry about that disgraceful state of affairs. Nowhere to be seen is where.

In completely non-related news I see this massive death cloud of volcanic ash has now grounded all flights in and out of the UK. Apparently the risk of the ash getting into the engines and stalling them is too great to take the risk. Fair enough. But where was the notice? Apparently the Met Office has been monitoring this death cloud for a week. Well lovely for them. They might have fucking well mentioned it. Wednesday lots of flights. Thursday, fuck all flights. No wonder we have no faith in the weather forcast if they can't even spot a cloud of imminent doom on the horizon. All over the country people are calling their insurance agents asking if they have death cloud cover - the answer to which is no. Apparently, its an act of God. Well, that might be true, but airlines still selling tickets for flights they were aware could be cancelled due to this cloud, counts as an act of greed.

I'm sure there was other ramblings I wanted to get off my chest, but I can't remember for the life of me what they were. I can only blame the death cloud. I'm sneezing like a bastard. So, on that note I'm off.